


My Fairy King: Adventure Seekers

by BohemianBeth



Series: My Fairy King [2]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Conspiracy Theories, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Everyone Is Gay, Fairies, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Pandemics, Sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:33:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23823133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BohemianBeth/pseuds/BohemianBeth
Summary: Sequel to My Fairy King. It's been almost year since Brian and Roger adopted Lily, and the couple have been enjoying their happily ever after alongside Freddie and John.  When the leader of the nature fairies makes a shocking discovery, he enlists Brian to set out on a rescue mission to Nevermore to save a group of endangered animals . But Brian is not alone. His team of volunteers consists of three fellow rocking queens and a sapling stowaway.
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor, John Deacon/Freddie Mercury
Series: My Fairy King [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1716475
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. The Fairy Feller's Master-Stroke

**Author's Note:**

> OK it's been a while. So for those of you who forgot about the story My Fairy King here's a refresher to get you all caught up. Roger, Freddie, Brian, and John are all fairies living in an enchanted forest home to their fairy kingdom of Rhye. Rhye like most fairy colonies is hidden from the humans because fairies are so small and reside in nature where they can thrive. There are two types of fairies: day and night fairies with silver or black wings respectively. Each fairy has their own unique set of skills and talents that makes up their identity. Roger has a gift of beauty and spirit of adventure (that gets him into lots of trouble). He's also part of the royal sunshine family who help raise the sun every morning. Brian is a space and nature fairy. Deaky, Roger's royal tutor, is gifted with wisdom and power over light. Freddie is gifted with the power of love and song. One night Brian discovers that Roger, the beautiful Sunshine Prince, is his soulmate. Meanwhile, his best friend Freddie Bulsara who as declared himself Mercury rescues John from a fallen branch and the two realize that they are also soulmates. Freddie and Brian join their newfound soulmates in the royal tree with a wedding date set for the following year. All is good until adventure calls Roger and he runs away to Nevermore, a forbidden land where humans roam. Brian, Freddie, and John go after him. On his adventure, Roger befriends a six year old girl named Lily who lives in an abusive household. Through shenanigans involving a shooting star Brian was able to harness, Lily is accidentally shrunken to the size of a fairy. The group take her back to Rhye until they can figure out how to get her back to normal. Roger who has already bonded with Lily grows more and more attached to her and Brian, Freddie and Deaky find it very difficult to send her home back to an abusive family who doesn't care about her. Lily is given a chance to return, but instead of wishing to return to normal size, she wishes to become a fairy so she can stay in Rhye forever. Brian and Roger adopt her and they all live happily ever after. I saved you a reread. You're welcome!
> 
> Also this probably doesn't need to be said but this story is 100% FICTION! Please keep that in mind especially when we get to certain plot points that seem relevant to today's times. I'm doing this for creative purposes so don't take offense if I mention a thing or two about pandemics and eating bats.

_Brian's POV_

"Rog, stop, I'm going to be late!" I protested as he pulled me in for another kiss. I couldn't resist the pleading look in the puppy dog eyes of my husband and soulmate.

"I'm sure the council of nature fairies will carry on fine without you but you're needed here at home." Roger insisted.

A sweet face poppedup out of the woven grass blankets arranged into a fort. "Who's going to guard my top secret fort while you're gone, Papa?"

A few months ago, Rhye's newest fairy none other than our dearest Lily was revealed as a fairy of laughter and smiles. I wasn't surprised that her gifts were discovered so soon because she fit in so well as a sapling and made everyone around her happy with her giggles and silliness. She would find her purpose here in Rhye with those gifts. Right now I felt her power washing over me because I was overwhelmed with a contagious smile.

"Your fort will be fine, love." I walked over and gave her a kiss on the head. "I'm sure Roger will protect it from any possible threat. Even a dragon attack."

"Dragons aren't real, Papa. They're only made up fairy tales." Lily giggled and ducked back into the fort.

With a flap of his silver wings, Roger hovered over the fort. "Roar! I'm a dragon and I demand you take that back, young lady, or else I'll burn down your fortress with my mighty fire breath."

"My fort is fire proof." Lily poked her head back out and stuck out her tongue. "And you're not a dragon. You're my Daddy, Roger Maylor the Sunshine Prince."

"Who is this Roger you speak of? I am Dragon!" He declared before smashing himself into her fort leaving them tangled in the collapsed blankets laughing uncontrollably.

"Yay! Now let's build it again so you can destroy it a third time!" Lily applauded. I adored our daughter, but Roger was much better at handling her antics. When he was around the fun always seemed to amplify. Watching the two of them play and bond was such a pleasure. I had my slight doubts about Roger being a father, but he surpassed my expectations and was the perfect dad for our little Lily. Everything had come together like a completed jigsaw puzzle, and I didn't know it was possible to love my family this much. But as a fairy I still had to fulfill my obligations to the community. That meant attending mandatory monthly council meetings for nature fairies even if I had to part with Roger and Lily for an hour.

I didn't dread this formality. In fact I enjoyed sharing and discussing vital information with my colleagues on a wide variety of issues. How to keep our seasonal gardens growing despite their tendencies to bring out predators like bunnies and gophers was a recent topic. Most fairies didn't fear larger animals, but even nature fairies like me who shared a connection with these different critters we'd encounter knew that they could pose a danger if provoked. For the most part fairies and animals got along well. It was the humans who presented the most harm. Nothing good can ever come from Nevermore as far as I was concerned. Except for Lily of course, but she was a fairy now and didn't associate with that world anymore.

"When I'm back I expect you to be in bed. Okay?" I said somewhat sternly. Someone had to be the figure of authority around here and Roger preferred me to be the voice of reason.

"Okay Boomer." Lily retorted.

"Honey, for the last time you're using that phrase wrong." I sighed. It was her way of saying ' _I hate these rules but I will do as I'm told nonetheless_ ', but it bugged me and I was sure it got on Roger's nerves as well.

"See you in an hour." I said at last, waving my final goodbye to the duo who successfully had my heart in their hands.

"Don't have fun without us, Papa." Lily begged. "It's impossible to have fun without us." Roger said.

"Oh no. Absolutely no fun. All business." I assured them. And with that I was at last out the door and ready Freddie to head to the council meeting.

Humming a tune to myself, I flew to the north tree where the natures fairies congregated for their monthly meeting. Tonight the cricket choir was chirping more vigorously than normal, and I knew Freddie had something to do with that.

"AY-OH! Down here, darling!" Sure enough Freddie was perched between the paws of one of his cats, narrowly avoiding the sharp claws, but he seemed at ease. A row of crickets were lined up in the grass beside them. I landed atop a low hanging branch, resting my wings for a moment.

"Hello, Freddie." I greeted my friend. "Glad to see you're back to work. How's Deaky holding up? A newborn sapling can be a handful as cute as little Asher is. Hopefully he hasn't been too fussy."

The newest addition to the Queen family was the most adorable two month old baby Asher Deacury. To a human, a baby sapling would be no bigger than a penny, but we treated our babies as the most precious beings in the world. Asher had wide, curious dark eyes like Freddie, but his skin was paler like Deaky's and his nose and mouth looked like Deaky's as well. Asher was developing small fuzzy patches of hair on his head that seemed similar in texture to Deaky's floof but with Freddie's dark color.

"Asher has been a godsent. Such a precious darling. Doesn't cry or scream too often and sleeps through the night. We love him so much and I miss him! It's only been 39 minutes and I miss both my babies so so much. I wish my paternity leave lasted as long as Deaky's maternity leave so I could be with them. The only good thing of going back to work is being back with Delilah. The cats have been more protective of me than normal. I guess they know that I'm a father now. She won't let me out of her paws unless I go right back to the tree where she knows I'll be safe and sound."

I knew the feeling well. I hated saying goodbye to Roger and Lily even for the shortest amount of time. But if we were separated it just made our time together feel more special. "Hang in there, Fred. I bet John and Asher are listening to that beautiful cricket chorus from the tree and enjoying the music."

"Deaky is probably bouncing our babe on his lap, getting ready for a feeding. Asher gets hungry around this hour. I wish I was there to help." Freddie sighed.

"John will be alright." I told him. Knowing John I would say he was enjoying this bonding time with his son and preferred to breast feed in private anyways.

"So when are you and Roger going to give Lily a new sibling sapling?" Freddie grinned suggestively. "John and I are already planing for another one."

The truth was Roger and I wanted more kids and we were trying (almost every night) but neither of us were getting pregnant. Right now we were both so happy with Lily, so as disappointing as it was to not get the results we were looking for, we weren't actively seeking help or answers from a doctor. We figured we'd tell Lily our plans before taking further actions. I was sure she'd welcome her new brother or sister with open arms, but as a part of our family she should know about our plans. For some reason her Uncle John getting pregnant confused her. Apparently only female humans could reproduce, which was odd because fairies of any gender could have a baby after making love. Of course no one told Lily about the making love part. She'd learn about that when she was much older.

"That's a conversation for another day, Freddie. I've got to go. I'm going to be late for this meeting." I told him.

"I'm always late for everything, darling. Don't stress." He replied.

***

Paul McCartney, the beloved day fairy, was the elected by the delegation as the leader of the nature fairies. Unlike the banished Prince of Darkness who unfortunately shared the same name, everyone loved Paul. He was kind to all and immensely talented. The infectious melodies he wrote in his spare time made us all want to dance. Paul had been serving as the council president for years now.

He called for everyone's attention as we mingled amongst each other waiting for the meeting to begin.We took our seats in the cushioned mushroom caps. It was time for Paul to deliver the fairy feller's master-stroke.

"Good evening everyone. Welcome. Let's start with some good news. I'm not dead. I know some foolish saplings are coming up with conspiracy theories that I died while traveling to another fairy colony but this is simply not true. I am very much alive and kicking. Now I want to talk to you all about my adventures abroad and what I discovered. While on the way to our sister colony, Strawberry Fields, to visit my mate Ringo, I found myself lost in Nevermore. This is why it is ill advised to travel far from Rhye. Nevermore is a terribly scary place with those humans like skyscrapers stomping all around. I stumbled across a human marketplace and found something appalling. Poor animals were being held captive to be sold as commodities and even slaughtered to be used in exotic cuisine. Now I know we as fairies agree that all life is sacred, but it is common knowledge that human consume creatures such as cattle, birds, fish, and pigs. This is very common in the human world and something they do without giving it another thought. Only this marketplace was different from others. There were other types of animals that would seem out of place in a human diet. Monkeys, rats, dogs, cats, and most common of all seemed to be bats strangely enough.I was able to free one of the bats without getting caught by any of the humans. Thankfully I got by with a little help from my friends John and George who showed me the way back to Strawberry Fields. The three of us and our new bat friend visited Ringo and we talked about my disturbing discovery. There is reason to believe that some bats carry a pathogen in their blood which would be transmissible to the humans. If they continue to eat the bats, it's only a matter of time before they cause a pandemic and wipe out their population..."

Surprisingly this was met with applause. I had mixed feelings. We would be better off without the humans, but cheering on a pandemic felt wrong.

"We as fairies shouldn't be rooting for the downfall of other creatures." Paul denounced. "The best solution would be to free all the bats and prevent this from happening. So I have a radical proposal. We assemble a team of our best fairies and send them out to this exotic marketplace to liberate the bats and convince the humans to stop these practices that will unleash a deadly illness amongst them. I know interacting with humans is a crime, but I've cleared this plan with King Beach. He already has a recommendation made on who should go on this perilous journey but we are willing to accept volunteers."

"Why would we want to prevent a human pandemic?" Axl Rose, another nature fairy interrupted. "The last time there was a pandemic in like 1918 or whatever we all thrived. Flowers blossomed and animals roamed the streets. It was great. Until they came back and reclaimed the earth and nearly tripled their pollution count over the next 100 years."

"Well in this case we'd be helping the bats." I argued. "And besides as monstrous as the humans are we cannot stoop to their level. We need to show some compassion. Remember the pixie plague? That wiped out entire fairy colonies. Do we really want to wish something like that onto another group of people even if they are destructive?" I couldn't believe I was arguing on the humans' behalf. Good fairy nature and the incentive of saving bats and other animals seemed to have clouded my judgement.

"Precisely my point, Brian." Paul spoke up. "That's why King Beach assigned you as the leader of the operation."

"Wait what?" After my last trip to Nevermore, I swore I'd never go there again. Roger nearly died and it seemed he had learned his lesson because he was happy at home.

"If there are no other volunteers, the team would consist of you, John and Freddie Deacury and the Sunshine Prince. You'll be prepped and trained for the journey in the upcoming days." Paul explained.

I had to be misunderstanding. Last I checked, we never sent fairies out on dangerous trips to Nevermore, even if it was for a humanitarian cause coinciding with our good fairy nature. It was just too risky. "Why us?" I blurted.

"Because you have experience in Nevermore, and you all seem competent and qualified for the task at hand." Paul clarified. "King Beach and I believe that you will be successful."

"So let me get this straight." I stated. "You want the four of us to risk our lives and join you on a journey to an exotic faraway land in Nevermore where we could easily get killed with a drop of the hat?"

"No, of course not." Paul replied and I let out a sigh of relief. "The four of you won't be traveling with me. You'll be alone. I'm needed here to organize Rhye's annual frisbee competition."

"Well that's reassuring." I murmured.

"King Beach will be giving you more details about your assignment tomorrow morning after the sunrise ceremony. Now if there are no additional volunteers let's move on to other matters.There was reportedly a missing sunflower seed in the east flower patch..."

I wanted to return to Roger and Lily as soon as the meeting was adjourned, but instead I went to visit Miami. Surely Paul was joking and the Fairy King would have a good laugh over this prank.

"Brian!" Miami greeted me warmly as he would with all his subjects. "How are you? What brings you to my throne room?"

"I heard a rumor that—"

"—No, Paul McCartney is not dead. That's ridiculous. I just spoke to him. He's his usual charming self. Can a dead man turn me on like that? I think not." He chuckled.

"I was actually going to ask about this operation. You plan on sending me, Roger, Freddie, and John to an exotic human marketplace in Nevermore to save a group of animals and stop a pandemic?" I waited for Miami to laugh but he nodded solemnly.

"What do you say, Brian? I think you'd make an excellent leader. Besides, you're one of the few fairies who may care about the fate of the humans. When Paul came to me with the idea of deploying fairies out there on a rescue mission, you were the first who came to mind. Of course Roger's spirit of adventure will help guide your way so he must accompany you. Freddie's cat can help you sneak in and out of the market stealthily so naturally he'll tag along, and I wouldn't feel safe sending the three of you out on your own without John's common sense to keep you grounded. It the perfect group!"

"With all due respect, your majesty, I don't believe we are up for this task. John is still recovering from his pregnancy. Who will watch Baby Asher? And who will watch Lily? What if we don't make it back? We have our children to think about. This decision to go on an asinine quest effects them too." I said.

"Your families can watch the saplings. Winifred, Michael, and Clare. Your mother as well, Brian. The Bulsaras. The Deacons. Freddie's friend Mary. We are a welcoming community and any fairy would be more than willing to babysit." Miami offered

"I just don't think this is a good idea. Why do we need to risk our lives for this?" I questioned.

"Because Paul came to me with his plight upon returning home and he found himself very troubled by what he discovered. As the king it is my duty to oversee the wellbeing of all my subjects. Paul and I both agree that the slaughtering of bats and other livestock which may cause a human pandemic is reason to act. What if this virus mutates into something that can harm fairies? We need to stop it now while it's still manageable. I'm sure you will feel more at ease as well when these poor animals are no longer being consumed."Miami reasoned. "Unlike most fairies, you and Roger especially have interacted with humans before. I believe you can get through to them and this could possibly be a groundbreaking step in the direction of peace and understanding between our species. You want that, don't you, Brian?"

"I do but the humans don't want peace. So why put ourselves in danger trying to teach them a lesson they'll never learn?" I exclaimed.

"Well we should at least give it a try." Miami said firmly. "Go home and talk it over with Roger. I will discuss this matter officially with the four of you tomorrow morning." ****

*******

Roger was perched on the side of the bed, gently rubbing Lily's back. " _Is this a kind of magic?"_ He sang softly as Lily snoozed.

"She's sleeping already?" I whispered.

Roger looked up. "Brimi, you're back! I missed you. How was the meeting? Did Paul deliver his fairy feller's master-stroke? Did anything interesting happen?"

Before I could respond Lily shot back up like an energized rocket. "Papa, you're back! I missed you.How was the meeting? Did Mr. McCartney deliver his fairy feller's master-stroke? Did anything fun happen?"

When did she become Roger 2.0? I patted her head affectionately. With the flick of wrist, I sent a sparkling display of stars of lovingness in her hair. I was supposed to only use my star power at night in the sky, but being with Roger and having a daughter taught me that some rules were meant to be broken. "Nothing too interesting or fun I'm afraid." I lied. "You should go back to sleep, my little shooting star. It's late."

"But I'm not sleepy." Lily pouted.

"Liar!" Roger shouted. "You were yawning and as soon as I started singing, you shut your eyes."

"That was before. This is now. I wanna stay up all night long!" She declared.

"No! By order of Dragon, I declare thee back to sleep!" Roger bopped her nose. Lily giggled. "This the part where you go back to sleep, Nugget." He prompted.

"Okay Boomer." She responded.

"Lily, you've got to stop with that Boomer stuff. You're using the phrase wrong." I told her.

"And I oop." She replied.

Oh no! That was so much worse. "Never mind go back to the Boomer thing." I said.

"Sksksksksks." Lily remarked.

"What the hell, Brian! Did you just turn our daughter into a VSCO girl?" Roger cried.

"Dad, Papa, can I get a hydro flask for my birthday pretty pretty please?"

What in the world was happening?

"Where are we going to find a hydro flask in Rhye, Nugget? Fairies drink from lakes and wells so we can all share the water together, remember?" Roger corrected her.

"Well then can I save the turtles for my birthday?" Lily requested. I beamed. "Now you're thinking like a fairy!" I applauded. "But it's time for bed. We can save the turtles another night."

Lily yawned and lay back down. "I like being a fairy." She cooed before falling back asleep.

As quietly as we could, Roger and I crept out of Lily's room leaving on the nightlight made of glimmering rainbow caterpillar shells.

"What are we going to do for Lily's birthday?" I wondered. Her 7th birthday was coming up soon. 

"It's her first birthday as a fairy and I want to make it extra special. So a typical blueberry cake and ladybug extravaganza won't suffice." Roger said. "Lily was telling me about these things humans have called bouncy castles and they sound super fun. I was thinking we could gather a bunch of squishy mushrooms and—" Suddenly Roger paled. "—Hold that thought, Bri!" He shoved past me and ran to the bathroom where he thew up.

"Oh, Roggie!" I didn't want him to be sick. I rushed to his side to comfort him and hold back his blonde locks. "Was it something you ate?"

"N-No...I don't think so." Roger reached in the drawer for a set of white flower petals.

"Oh!" I gasped in realization as Roger nervously nodded. We had been through this song and dance before, so I didn't want to give my hopes up. I gave Roger some privacy so he could take the pee test and determine if he was pregnant...

"BRIAN!"

"Shush, you'll wake Lily again. What is it?" I was afraid to look. But sure enough all three flower petals were no longer white but bright red. That could only mean one thing...

"I'm pregnant!" Roger squealed.


	2. Is This the World We Created?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The quest is on, but Brian and Roger are distracted by more life altering news.

_Roger's POV_

"No, Rog, we're not going to name our baby May Maylor." Brian said sternly.

I opened my mouth to respond. "No, Rog," He beat me to it, "we're not going to name our baby April Maylor either."

"April May Maylor!" I decided.

"If the next words out of your mouth are March April Maylor, I will scream."

"Screaming is my thing." I protested. "Don't take it away from me because you don't know what it means to me."

"No one is taking away your right to scream. Here, let's have some breakfast." Brian began whisking the sunflower seed flour pancake batter. "We have to wake our little shooting star or she'll be late for school. Are we going to tell her the big news this morning or wait until she comes home from school?"

"Umm..." I was hesitant to tell Lily about the new baby. What if she was jealous? Right now she was our baby and our pride and joy. Soon she wouldn't be the only one claiming that title. Things would change when her new sibling came around. We'd still love her just the same, but she was going to have to learn to share. I wanted our kids to get along so badly. Just like me and Clare. But Lily's experience with siblings wasn't the best considering her sociopathic human brother. I shuddered.

"We should probably tell her now because after school we have to rush to get her to dance practice." I decided.

I made my way to Lily's room only to find her wandering out of her bed on her own. "Good morning, bitches!" Holy shit! Why was I not surprised? She heard me say much worse.

"Lily!" Brian gasped. "Who taught you that word?"

"Uncle Freddie." She replied casually. "Can we visit him and Uncle John and baby Asher today after dance practice? Oh today at practice the cobbler fairy is going to fit me for new shoes because I don't need my ballet slippers anymore because we're gonna move from ballet to jazz. So the new shoes are called jazz booties." She stopped to giggle at the word 'booties'. "But I really wanna do tap dance next and get tap shoes so I can tap and make a bunch of noise...Tap shoes are kinda like your clogs, Papa."

Freddie was right, signing her up for dance in addition to his piano lessons was a brilliant idea. We had our calendar marked for that date of her big recital. I was learning a lot about Lily through this newfound passion. She loved shoes, leotards, and being loud. Yeah the girl was born to a be a part of our little Queen family. And that little family was about to get a bit bigger by one person...

"Eat up, sweetheart, you need your nutrients." Brian said as he served the blueberry pancakes on her stone plate. I poured the flower nectar on top of the dish to complete it for her. Lily called it syrup which was the human term for a similar food that came from processed maple leaves.

"And you too, honey." Brian piled twice as many pancakes as I would normally eat onto my plate. Oh right, I was eating for two now. Yum! This was going to be the best nine months of my life!

"Nugget, there's something we need to tell you." I started, looking to Brian for help. He just nodded telling me to carry on, carry on as if nothing really mattered.

"Ooooh. Is it a secret?" Lily giggled.

"Not exactly." I said. "So you know how baby Asher grew up in Uncle John's tummy?"

"Are you going to tell me where babies come from?" She blurted.

Oh no! Brian looked mortified and unsure of what to say. Abort mission! Abort! Okay maybe abort wasn't the right word to use in this situation...

"Well you see, Lily, when two people love each other..." I trailed off, unsure of how to say we fuck and get pregnant to a six year old.

"We're going to have a new baby just like little Asher." Brian finally announced. "Isn't that exciting? You're gonna have a new brother or sister to play with."

"Ohh." Lily frowned. "Um...do we have to?"

Not the reaction I was hoping for. "What's the matter? You love playing with baby Asher. He's so cute. Our new baby will be just like that."

"And it'll be a fairy baby?" She asked.

"Well we're both fairies so yeah." Oh man, giving birth to a giant ass human baby would be so painful. It would split my little body in two. No thanks.

"And it'll look like you and Papa the same way Asher looks like Uncle Freddie and Uncle John?" Lily asked.

"If it doesn't then Roger has some serious explaining to do." Brian said half-jokingly. I smacked him (gently). I would never cheat. Never! Only in Wings and Ladders and that's if I'm super behind. God knows I hate that board game!

"So you'll have your very own fairy baby. A real one." Lily stated bitterly.

Fuck! I fumbled through a reassurance but it came out botched. "No! I mean yes...but...Lily, you're our baby too." I stammered. Brilliant. How the hell could I screw this up? Parenting was hard. Would it get worse when we had two?

"You _are_ a real fairy, and your ours as well. We love you so much, Lily. You'll always be our daughter no matter what." Brian translated.

"Yeah but you'll love the fairy baby more than me." Lily pouted.

"No!" I cried. "We'll love you both the same." When Lily looked at me skeptically, I tried to rephrase it. "I love Brian, right?"

"I'd hope so." My husband remarked and Lily nodded.

"But I also love you, Lily. Does that make me love Brian any less? No, it doesn't. I love you both the same." I explained. "Do you understand?"

"I guess so." She sighed. "I'm done eating. I have to get ready for school now." She slumped up off the seat and went back to her room, leaving a half-eaten pancake behind.

"That could've gone better." Brian shook his head.

***

As always, the group of saplings from the school were the last residents of Rhye to join the crowd gathered around the royal tree to observe the sunrise ceremony as they had to complete their morning assembly first. I looked down from my spot atop a high branch. Lily would always look up and wave vigorously. Only today she was slouched and forlorn. My job as Sunshine Prince, a symbol of great beauty, was to sit here with a smile and look pretty while the others flapped their wings and lit up the dawn with a spectacular display of sparkling lights. I was always treated like a delicate little butterfly, and it used to bother me. Then I met Brian and found purpose in raising our daughter together. Having more kids just seemed like the next logical step in our journey together. Why couldn't Lily be happy? She was supposed to be the epitome of happiness after all as her gifts were laughter and smiles. But as I knew all too well, living up to your fullest fairy potential wasn't always easy. Who knew following that call for adventure would guide me down this path to my purpose? And of all things in the world, it was raising a little girl. It turned out she was the answer to that yearning to explore and that urge to not be complacent and stay put. With Lily every day was an adventure, and I was finally at peace thanks to her. I never expected to find inner peace with it going against my very nature as a fairy blessed with the spirit of adventure. So now all I wanted was what was best for my daughter. Clearly I was failing her because she wasn't wearing her usual smile. Maybe Brian and I acted too soon in having another sapling. Lily was still adjusting to this world. She didn't need anymore major life changes. I wanted to have a big family with lots and lots of kids and Lily was very much a part of that vision. It was too late to go back now. We would just have to show Lily how vital she was in our ever growing family.

I wasn't exactly paying attention to Miami's morning speech because it was always the same. _"Good morning, my citizens! Today let's live up to our fullest potential as fairies and look out for one another as we always do..."_ Blah blah blah. He droned on and on, and I realized I was feeling a bit ill. Hopefully I'd be able to hold in my pancakes until the ceremony ended. Throwing up from this tall branch on full display of everyone would be terribly embarrassing. Well it'd be hilarious if it happened to someone else. Just not me. Oh well. I'd just blame Brian. It was his fault I'm sick anyway. Thankfully it didn't come to that because Miami finally concluded. "...Have a magical day everyone! And may the following people please report to my throne room now: Brian Maylor, Roger Maylor, Freddie Deacury, and John Deacury. That is all."

Thank God it was over! Now I was free to...Oh wait! Did he just call our names? Shit! I tried to recall if the four of us had done anything indecent lately that would get us into trouble. Nothing came to mind. Before I could move, another wave of morning sickness overcame me, and vomited into a pile of leaves. I covered up the mess with more leaves. Good fertilizer.

Now where did Miami say we had to be? Throne room. That was right. I returned to the royal tree and found Freddie and John already making their way inside. Freddie was cradling Asher. Ahh! I couldn't wait to have an adorable baby that I could hold in my arms in like that. Asher looked around curiously with his big brown eyes, making baby noises. Why were his cheeks so chubby? I wanted my baby's cheeks to be that chubby! Big fat chubby baby cheeks were the best!

I was so focused on that little cutie that I hardly noticed that Deaky's wavy light brown hair previously cascading down his back was cut short. I was about to ask him about it, but I felt funny interrupting the tender moment the fathers were sharing with their son. 

"Go on darling, say Papa. I know you can do it!" Freddie prompted.

"No! Say Dada. Dada." Deaky insisted.

"Pa..." Asher began. "Yes! Keep going, darling!" Freddie applauded.

"Da..." "That's it!" Deaky encouraged.

"Ra-Ra!" Asher finally managed.

"Hell yeah!" I squealed. "Did you hear that? He said Ra-Ra. Ha! That's me! I'm his first word."

"No, you're not." Freddie frowned. "He meant to say Papa. And since when was your name Ra-Ra, darling? That's ridiculous."

"Does anyone know why we're here?" Deaky asked.

"Beats me." I replied but I was eager for any excuse to see my sweet little nephew. His silver wings tucked behind his back were so tiny. It would take a few years before they built up enough strength to become fully functional. As I fawned over him he hiccuped softly and it just wasn't fair how freaking precious he was!

Miami cleared his throat making us look up from the little bundle of joy. "Where's Brian? Freddie, you're usually the late one."

"I'm here!" Brian made a dramatic entrance, bursting into the throne room with his long legs taking big enough strides to reach us in a matter of seconds. "I'm so sorry your majesty. I completely forgot about this mission."

"Mission?" I questioned.

"How could you forget? I told you talk it over with Roger. Why is this his first time hearing about this? You know how important this mission is?" Miami scolded.

"Ohhh! Are we like spies now?" I exclaimed. How awesome would it be to become a secret agent? I'd be in charge of stealth because I'm naturally subtle. And we'd go on these crazy adventures and constantly be in danger. It'd be great! Brian might even lose his arm and I would have to make a new robotic arm for him. Then Freddie would get brainwashed and join the other side...

"Ah-hem!" Miami got my attention back. "I'm sending you out on this quest because I believe you can handle it and understand the severity. Brian, what could have been so important that it made you forget?"

"Well we found out that Roger's pregnant and I _—"_

 _"—_ Oh my God! Why didn't you tell me?" Freddie screamed. _"_ Asher will have a playmate!"

"Congratulations!" Deaky beamed.

"Thank you, John. I like your new hair by the way." Brian said. "Why'd you cut it?" 

"Oh, Asher's been a grabby mood lately." John replied with a blush that made Freddie coo loving words under his breath. 

"Grabby mood?" I questioned, but I got my answer when the baby reached up and yanked a fistful of curls dangling down from Brian's perfect poodle mane. 

"We should get our hair cut when the new baby arrives." I suggested. 

"By we I hope you mean you because this hair stays with me till the day I die." Brian declared. "Of course if you want to cut your hair Roger, I won't stop you. You'll look beautiful no matter what even if you dyed it green or something." 

"Boys!" Miami cried. "Goodness! All this talk of babies and it's about as difficult to keep your attention as it is with babies. Heaven help me I still believe you four are best fit to save the world from a bat pandemic." 

"What are you talking about?" I asked. 

"Paul McCartney discovered a human marketplace in Nevermore where wild and exotic animals are captured and eaten." Miami explained. "Humans are no stranger to eating animals, but these animals are not meant to be a part of a human diet: cats, rats, and most prevalent bats. We have reason to believe that some of the bats carry a pathogen that could transmit a life threatening virus into the human bloodstream and cause a widespread pandemic. Worse yet, this virus has the potential to mutate into an ailment that can effect fairies. We don't want to cause another pixie plague. So our solution is to free these bats and convince the human to stop eating them. I know it's a radical idea, but if we can make contact with the humans, it could be beneficial to all of us. The humans could finally realize the error of their ways if we make communication with them. We can help them take step to save the earth instead of destroying it. Maybe just maybe for once they'll listen to the little guys."

"I don't know, Miami." John said. "Throughout history, every time we've tried to make contact and peace with the humans, it's ended with us getting literally squashed. That's why it's a law not to reveal ourselves to them. They're dangerous." 

"And do you really want to send a pregnant fairy on such a dangerous mission? Every decision Roger makes effects two people now." Brian said. "I don't think this is a good idea." 

Wow! Suddenly, I was so eager to be pregnant anymore. With the way Brian said that it made it seem like I was under pressure. I could barely make the right decisions for myself, now I was impacting an innocent life in addition to my own. The gravity of the situation suddenly hit me, and I didn't like it. What if I fucked up? I always seemed to do something dumb or impulsive. It wasn't just me anymore. 

Then I thought about what it would mean if we made peace with the humans. There were horror stories of other fairy colonies being discovered and the humans would completely exterminate them. Their whole population were wiped out just like that. What if I could do something about it? I could raise my baby in a world free of fear where we lived in harmony with our giant counterparts. When I used to go on my adventures outside of Rhye and risk my life in Nevermore for my thrill, I would ask myself: Is this the world we created? Why do we have to be confined to this enchanted forest when there was a whole vast world out there to explore? Lily proved to me that humans were capable of goodness. If there was a way to bring that little spark of hope out in all of them, we could change things for the better. 

"I'm in." I decided. 

"What?" Brian cried. 

"If this virus thing is real, then the most vulnerable fairies would be the saplings." Freddie reasoned. "I don't want anything to happen to my dear Asher. So I'm on board as well. I'm never one to turn down a challenge either. Let's do it, darlings! I'm ready Freddie! How hard could it be to get the humans to listen to us? Everyone listens to me when I have something to say. I'm an absolute delight." 

"Excellent." Miami exclaimed. "Freddie, your cats can help you navigate through the marketplace and offer excellent distraction if need be. Remember that cats are on the menu, so please be careful while using this to your advantage." 

"Wait. We're actually doing this? Have you all gone mad?" Brian shrieked. 

"And what our options if we don't do this? The bats and animals will all get eaten. The human will die. Worse of all the virus can spread to us and we'll all die. We have to try." I urged. Again, I was feeling the familiar pang in my belly and it had nothing to do with the baby. It was that gut feeling, an itching invitation for adventure that I couldn't decline. 

"I-I...I need a moment." Brian stormed out without warning. What was up with him? 

"I want to make it back here alive." John said. "But you're starting to persuade me." 

"We'll make it back here alive. We're a team, darling. We don't let anything bad to happen to any one of us because we all look out for each other." Freddie said taking his hand. "We're doing this for Asher. Remember that. We want to make the world a better place for him." Deaky hesitantly nodded. 

"So all three of you agree? We're just waiting for Brian." Miami confirmed. I was concerned about my husband. This wasn't like him. Showing up late, acting irrational, and just walking out for no reason. Maybe he needed some space to cool down, but as a certified cuddle monster I don't believe in giving him space. Instead I give him the moon and stars. "I'll go check on him." I announced. 

I expected Brian to be out in the hallway, pacing across the bark floor ready to delve into a lengthy monologue weighing the pros and cons of the plan and going through with it. Only he was absent. I got worried. "Brian?" I called. I poked my head out of one of the small crevices in between the branch and leaves, trying to see if he was outside. When that got me nowhere I checked the bathroom. "Bri, are you in here?" 

I got my answer when I spotted him crouched by the waste basket, puking. What the hell? "Brimi?" Smelling the vomit made me feel nauseous again and before I knew it I was beside him chugging up more of my breakfast. 

"Rog..." Brian heaved. "...I was late because I was sick. A-And now..."

I shook my head. "No!" This couldn't be happening. Not at the same time. Was that even possible? I mean we fucked like bunnies and it was fairy mating season, but what were the odds? Shit! How could Brian take care of me if he was also expecting? We were prepared for either of us to get pregnant, but not both of us, and especially not at the same time. What the hell? "No. No. No." I grunted, trying to wrap my head around all of this. 

"Rog...We won't know until I take the test but..." We locked eyes silently acknowledging the possibility. Fuck! I panicked so hard. Two babies. Poor Lily! How would she react to this? She was so upset about one new addition, but now there were two. And both of us would be preoccupied with the pregnancies which meant we wouldn't have the energy to play with her. I expected at least one of us to be with her to his fullest capacity. 

"W-We can't go to Nevermore." Brian said, tears prickling in his hazel eyes. "We're all Lily has in this world. And now we need to take care of these new little miracles too."

"Lily's going to hate us." I said, not worried about the journey to Nevermore as it was the farthest thing on my mind right now. 

"She won't, Roger. Just like we could never hate her, she'll never hate us. She'll understand. I promise that everything will be okay. This is just...a lot to handle. I mean...Holy shit!" Brian officially snapped. He just started laughing. I didn't know whether or not I should be concerned or happy. 

The door swung open interrupting our mental crisis. "Oh there you two are! We were so worried. What's going on?" John exclaimed. "Miami wants an answer...well actually I don't think he's going to take no for an answer. Pregnant or not we all have to go. He only believes in our exact team. The four of us. Otherwise the operation won't be successful."

"Why?" I wondered. 

"Because according to Miami we work well together and we have wits and agility that'll help us along with Freddie's cats." Deaky shrugged, clearly not buying it either. "I suppose it won't be that bad. After all, the last time we went to Nevermore it actually worked out pretty well." 

"So we don't have a choice, do we?" Brian exhaled. 

"Denying a quest issued by a king is considered treason by fairy tribal law. Miami could just banish us to Nevermore anyway for disobeying him." Deaky said. 

"When do we leave?" I accepted that this was happening. It seemed there was no way out. I didn't want to tell Brian, but I was excited. It had been a while since I felt this jittery. Adventure was calling and I'd always be the first to answer.


	3. The Machine of a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhye has a run-in with a human, and Freddie learns a lesson about having a curious baby around during fairy mating season.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Freddie Mercury's perfect cheekbones are the 8th wonder of the world! Don't have anything else to say so let's continue with the story...

_Freddie's POV_

I was beginning to understand why Miami chose us for this quest. With Brian's vast knowledge in physics, my precious Deaky _'_ s brilliant skills in engineering, and Roger's unhealthy fixation with cars, the trio were able to design a magical vehicle. Once Paul McCartney punched in the coordinates, we'd be transported directly to the exotic marketplace. This way we'd end up at our precise destination and wouldn't waste any time wandering aimlessly through Nevermore. I questioned how Paul knew about all of this, but it's a kind of magic, and I'm not one to go against the judgements of our dear Macca. So I went along with this initial task of preparing our car. After all we had to travel in style.

Now as we all know I'm wonderful with my hands. I play piano and if I may brag I have quite the superb set of pleasuring skills. Don't believe me just ask John and my exes. So since my hands are so valuable, I refuse to get them dirty. Therefore I played no part in the building of the enchanted fairy mobile apart from helping draw some of the prototypes. I'd leave anything that involved manual labour to the others."Just make sure my cats can fit inside." I called to them as I sipped my ice cold fairy berry juice. It was a beautiful morning with the warm rays of sunlight dripping down through the canopy. The trees were providing more shade than my sass, but Delilah was waving her tail back and forth acting as a nice cooling fan.

Asher peered up at me from the grass where he played with his wooden blocks looking oh so precious as usual. Truth be told I didn't want to leave my son behind and neither did Deaky. We didn't have a choice.

Out of nowhere, the tranquility of the day erupted into chaos. The ground beneath us trembled like an earthquake and the bell from the fairy clock tower went off at least 39 times in a row.

"HUMAN!" Someone shrieked.

I saw the giant shoe slam down on the overhead garden with a deafening thunder leaving destruction in its wake. "Fuck!" I cried picking up Asher on instinct who was trembling and wailing. How could a human find us? Rhye was hidden deep in the enchanted forest. The humans never ventured this deep into the thickets on their camping and hiking adventures.

Mushroom halls and trees were being evacuated at the speed of light as the human stomped down on our land leaving each trampled patch in utter ruins. You heard about these horrendous happening in other fairy colonies all the time, but Rhye was supposed to be safe. Why weren't we safe?

I lost sight of the boys as they disappeared into the sea of frightened fairies running for their lives. Delilah kept me and Asher protectively encased in between her paws and up against her furry belly. She wasn't letting us go anytime soon, and I knew I couldn't fight a creature so much bigger than me. So I focused on calming Asher who wouldn't stop crying.

"Oh darling, it's alright. Delilah's keeping us warm. It'll be okay. Please please don't cry my love. I promise we'll be safe." I cradled him just as tightly as Delilah encased us. "Shh. Shh. The giant will be gone soon. Papa is here."

"Uncle Freddie!" I heard Lily's distressed cries and spotted her in the crowd of sapling screaming and running frantically trying to get away. She somehow made it over to us and flew into Delilah's embrace.

"There's a man!" She cried. "And he's taller than the trees. What do we do?"

I wasn't sure. This had never happened before, at least not in Rhye. I wanted Deaky so bad. Where was he? Why couldn't I see him in the swarming fairy masses? Brian almost always stuck out because of his height and hair. I began to panic. What if something happened to them? What if they didn't get out of the human's way in time?

"Uncle Freddie, I'm scared." Lily whispered. "Where are my Dad and Papa and Uncle Deaky?"

"I-I don't know, my darling." I tried my best to stay calm. I should focus on something else anything else....

"I love your tutu, my dear! And are those new shoes?"

She looked down at her outfit, temporarily relieved from our impending doom and smiled. "Yeah these are my new jazz booties." She giggled.

"I think they're absolutely lovely. I might steal them when you're not looking and wear them for myself." I teased.

"You won't fit in them. My feet are too little." She peered out over Delilah's outstretched paws at the trembling ground and fairies fleeing from the thundering stomps of the human. "Did I used to be all big and scary like that?"

"Yes." I blurted, but then I quickly rephrased. "No, darling, you were different. You um...well Roger liked you. You helped him get back home." Honestly, I didn't know much of Lily while she was still human. None of us did except for Roger. All we saw was our fairy friend in the hands of a giant completely unafraid of her. "Look, my dear, none of that matters now. It's all in the past. You're a fairy now. Aren't you happy here with us?"

"Yes. Yes I'm very happy. I just...I don't know. I don't feel like a real fairy. What if when the new babies come and look more like Dad and Papa, they'll decide they don't want me anymore." Lily sighed.

"You're their daughter. They'll always want you and love you. Besides, if they did that, I'd kick their asses for you and Deaky and I would take you in instead. Asher would love to have a big sister. Wouldn't you, my sweet baby darling?"

Poor Asher was still crying no matter how much I rocked him and sang to him. I didn't know what to do. If Deaky were here he'd probably be able to cheer up our precious baby. John was such a perfect parent. I loved how patient and caring he was and how he always knew what to do in events like these. I was sure he was safe. Deaky might get scared and panicked, but he always pull through in the most adorable way possible.

"Uncle Freddie, where do babies come from?" Lily asked out of nowhere.

"Fuck!" I cried, not expecting that. Would Asher become curious asking inappropriate questions like that when he was old enough to start talking? He stopped crying for a moment, his teary brown eyes looking up at me and his lips quivered in a small precious smile. "F...Fuck!" He mimicked.

Oh no! No! That was not our baby's first word (Ra-Ra didn't count). John was going to kill me if that was the case. "No, darling. No. Don't say that word. Say Papa."

"Pa...F...Fu..."

"No, don't do it, Asher. Please darling." I begged.

"Fa-Fa!" He exclaimed instead. I let out a sigh of relief. "Much better." I patted his soft fuzzy head and kissed his nose. What a cute nose he had, just like Deaky's.

"Are you going to answer my question?" Lily tugged at the hem of my shirt woven directly from the finest of silk worms.

Hmm. How should I go about this? "Well, you see darling, there's a special mating ritual for when you want to get pregnant. But it's only for grownups who love each other very much and wanna have a baby." What kind of bullshit was that? I surprised myself with my own nonsense. Why not come clean with the girl and tell her about the wonders of sex? I couldn't bring myself to do it. She wasn't my daughter, so it wasn't my decision to make. Roger and Brian would kill me if I had the sex talk with her without their permission first.

"But how come only human girls can do it and here boys can do it too?" Lily questioned.

"Well usually only the bottom of gets pregnant, but during the 39 days of fairy mating season, the top can get pregnant too. I guess there's no human mating season that makes that possible and human women always bottom?" I knew nothing about sex in the human world, but I considered myself an expert in all things fairy sex. That was why we always used flower base condoms during fairy mating season when our horniness was at an all time high. I did not want to get pregnant. I was already such a hysterical queen, the added hormones would be disastrous. John, on the other hand, wanted to be the one to carry our child, and I was so happy to watch him grow and nurture our little one, looking absolutely radiant in the process. It was a shame Brian and Roger didn't plan accordingly because now they both would have to care for each other while pregnant. I couldn't imagine going through that. I preferred it our way where I pampered my precious Deaky like a prince and I wasn't the sick one so I could devote myself to caring for my angel. And only someone as perfect as Deaky could deliver such a beautiful baby.

"What's a bottom and what's a top? What are you talking about?" Lily inquired.

I was definitely getting into some troubling territory here. "Um...I'll explain it to you when you're older, my dear." I dismissed.

I knew the point of this was to distract us from the calamity and keep ourselves calm, but I was slightly grateful when Lily got scared again as the human's booming footsteps became even louder. At least now she wouldn't hark about the sex anymore. Oh wait. No this was a bad thing. The human was getting closer. "Fuck!" I cried again realizing we would have to move and move fast.

"Fuck!" Asher repeated.

There was no time to reprimand him. If we waited here any longer we'd be squashed and no better off than drowning in the Seven Seas of Rhye. "Delilah, we've got to go!" I urged the cat holding us captive.

"Hey look, a kitty!" The human sounded like he was screaming as he stopped dead in his tracks for a moment. The ground was no longer shaking. I had to crane my neck all the way back to see his face way up in the sky. And I thought Brian had long legs! This was ridiculous. "What have you got there, little cat?" The man slurred sounding intoxicated. "Some mice and birdies?"

Lily cowered behind me as we crouched behind Delilah's paws, invisible to the man looming above us. He put down his enormous hand by Delilah's face and made a meowing sound. Delilah hissed at him. "Oh hey no need to get all feisty with me. I ain't gonna hurt ya, little one. Just got a lil' drunk and wandered too far from the campsite." He sounded...harmless enough, almost a bit friendly if I wasn't mistaken. Lily must have realized this as well because she stopped trembling. I figured she knew better, so I didn't try to constrain her so she stayed hidden. I was wrong. Before I could stop her, she stood up showing off her sparkling black wings to their fullest capacity as they stretched out. "Lily, no!" I hissed as she slipped through the gap in Delilah's paws and flew up toward the human's eyes. "Hi mister! Can you tell me where babies come from?"

The man's scream was louder than Roger's and that was certainly saying something, although it wasn't as high pitched. He stumbled backward and tripped onto his ass thankfully not squishing anything or anyone with the impact). Most of the fairies had already evacuated. It seemed .Apart from some smashed mushrooms, there wasn't too much damage, which was good. When the oafish human was on the ground, he appeared less formidable. Lily showed no fear at all, dauntlessly flying over to him and landing onto his finger tip. "Get away from him, darling!" I cried.

"My name's Lily. What's yours?" She spoke directly to the man who peered down at her, his giant eyes growing even wider.

"Fuck!" I grunted only to be mimicked again by Asher.

"Y-You're...You're...Ah jeez what was in those s'mores I ate?" The human gasped.

"I'm a fairy. Like Tinker Bell, but real. You shouldn't be here. You're too big. You'll smash everything and crush us all. So you have to go home. But before you do can you please tell me where babies come from. Nobody wants to tell me."

I was so stunned by Lily's brazen actions that I hardly noticed the fairy mobile zooming through the forest traveling at the speed of light. It was an all black car with orange flames on the side unfortunately not big enough to fit a cat like I had planned, but it was the perfect size for a fairy. Roger was driving with Brian in the passenger seat and Deaky in the back. The car screeched to a halt and Roger got out of the car. "LILY MAYLOR, WHAT IN RHYE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Roger no!" Brian cried as he flew up to the human as well.

I'd let those two sort out whatever mischief Lily found herself in. While Roger approached the human, I ran to Deaky to make sure he was alright. "Darling, I was so scared that something had happened!" I smashed my lips up against his, forcefully kissing him as best I could while still holding Asher.

"Freddie! Asher! Thank goodness!" Deaky cried. "Are either of you hurt? Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head. "We're fine, my dear. What about you? Please tell me you're alright!"

"Roger and Lily are with a human!" Brian shrieked. "We are not alright!"

"But Deaky, you're okay?" I confirmed, letting out a sigh of relief when he nodded. All was right in the world!

Meanwhile Roger charged toward the human's face like an angered wasp. "Hey you boy!" He screamed. "Hey you!" With no regard for how tiny he was in comparison to the man, Roger slapped his face. "You put my daughter down, you motherfucker!"

"Fuck!" Asher repeated.

"W-What did you just say?" John gasped.

"I-I didn't mean to upset your mama fairy." The man surprisingly lowered his hand so that Lily could step down if she wanted to, but she didn't budge. Brian intervened flying over to physically remove her from her spot atop his finger. "We don't talk to strangers, Lily, especially not humans." He said firmly.

"Ahh man! He was gonna tell me where babies come from." Lily pouted.

"If you come anywhere near Lily again, I will end you!" Roger threatened even though the man didn't even flinch at all at any of his punches. This was just a fight he couldn't win, and he was lucky the human wasn't fighting back.

"Roger, stop! Lily's safe! Let's go!" Brian called.

"Deaky's safe too." I reminded everyone.

"Thanks, Freddie." He said. "Shouldn't we be trying to make peace though? I thought that was part of the plan. Let's tell him not to eat bats."

Roger was still attacking the man when he took out a device that was slightly bigger than the average fairy. It was sleek and reflective and omitted and artificial light. "What is that thing?" I questioned.

"Nothing good." Brian said as he flew up to drag Roger back down kicking and screaming. "C'mon. Let's get you back to safety." Brian stared up wearily into the device which the man just held up staring at its light. "Let me go, Brimi! Let me go!" Roger fought.

The man hovered the device over the rest of us and I noticed a circle in the upper corner about the size of my face. It seemed to be blinking. "We should get out of here." I said, ushering Deaky and Asher back into the car. Brian forced a reluctant Roger into the passenger seat and Lily plopped onto his lap. "Get us out of here, Brian." John instructed as Brian took the drivers' seat. The man continued to hold up the strange technology as we drove away. Lily waved at him. "Smile everybody, we're on camera!" She squealed.

"That's a human camera?" John gasped.

"Oh no! My makeup is flaking." I covered my face with my hands. I wanted the humans to have a decent picture of me.

"That's your biggest concern, really, Freddie?" Roger groaned. "You have a lot of explaining to do, Lily? Who was that man?"

"I don't know. A lost camper. He seemed nice though. Maybe that video he took of us will go viral. I've always wanted to go viral." Lily continued to wave as the man put away the human camera and ran the other way. Good, he was moving away from Rhye.

"Lily, humans are dangerous. Communicating and showing yourself to them is a crime." Brian said.

"I know that, but I thought we were getting rid of that rule now that you're going on your adventure." She replied. "By the way, can I come too? You might need someone who knows about the human world. I could help."

"How do you know about our mission?" Roger blurted.

"I heard you and Papa talking about it." She said casually. "Anyway, that human wasn't that scary. I thought he was, but he was just lost. I don't think he wanted to hurt us. It's not his fault that he's so big."

"That's what she said." I couldn't resist.

"Not the time, Fred." Damn, Roger was pissed. Usually that would at least get a giggle out of him. 

"Look, no one's hurt, and that's all that matters." Deaky said. I looked him over one more time to ensure that he really was okay. Then I gave him a kiss.

"So a human just shows up in Rhye out of nowhere?" Roger demanded. "I don't buy it."

"He was just a drunk wanderer. It's rare for humans to find Rhye but not impossible. You should leave the poor darling alone as long as she's learned her lesson." I said.

"Don't tell me how to parent, Freddie." Roger scoffed. "Lily, do you understand how dangerous this is? He could've hurt you. He could've killed you. He could've taken you back to his world and I'd never see you again. Were you trying to go back? Are you not happy here?"

I thought about what Lily had said earlier and now saw her sniffling back tears.

"Roger, that's enough!" Brian said sharply."Lily, do you know that what you did was reckless and foolish?"

"Yes Papa." She said tearfully.

"Okay. Don't do it again." He replied.

"That's it?" Roger cried. "No. Damn it, Lily, don't you get it! You're the most important thing in the world to me and I would go mad if I lost you to a human. So I'm not gonna stop until you realize what you mean to me and how much it hurts when you do dumb shit that could get you hurt or killed."

I caught Brian's snarky side eye in the rear view mirror as we both knew he lectured Roger this way all the time. Maybe now wasn't the time to point out the irony.

"I'm sorry Daddy." Lily sobbed. ****

Roger softened. "It's alright, love. I just want you safe. That's all."

I clung to Asher and squeezed Deaky's hand. "All we want is for our loved ones to be safe, darling."

"Fuck!" Asher announced.

"Asher, no!" Deaky cried. "Baby, we don't use that word. That word is a no-no word. I don't know who taught it you but you can't use it."

"I don't know where he could've heard it." I lied. Thankfully John seemed to buy it.

"You know Lily's not wrong, the man didn't seem to be intentionally terrorizing us. I don't think he realized his actions were harming us because he couldn't see us at first. If we make humans more aware, then maybe this crazy plan might work out after all." Brian said.

"And how do we make them more aware?" Deaky pondered.

"Good point John. We'd be foolish to do this without a clear strategy. Do we have any ideas on how we can safely communicate with the humans?" Brian asked.

Then I was struck with brilliant inspiration. "Musically of course! We should put together a concert to get their attention. If we rock them hard enough, they're bound to listen!"

"Oh believe me, we will rock them! By the time we're done with our show, the humans won't even know what hit 'em!" Roger exclaimed.

"I say we set up our instruments and perform right in the middle of this crude market. We'll play so hard that we'll punch a hole through the roof!" I declared.

"Actually Paul said the marketplace is outdoors so it doesn't have a roof." Deaky blurted.

There's no stopping me. "Then we'll punch a hole in the sky!"I opted.

***

As the boys worked on adding the fairy transporting technology to the new car, I snacked on cashews fresh from the tallest cashew tree in Rhye. It was my favorite season: nut season, which were the weeks that followed fairy mating season. After getting down and making love all night long through those 39 days, there was nothing better than munching on nuts afterwards. Oh and all the tree nuts are in full bloom too and they make for a tasty snack as well.

This season for some reason the nuts were especially mouthwatering and I was craving each crunchy handful. I loosened my belt as I ate. Why did I have to wear my pants this tight? Oh the things I do for fashion.

"Fuck!" Asher said his favorite and only word as he played with the thin flower petal in his tiny hands. Wait a minute... I snatched the object from him realizing that it was no ordinary flower petal but a flower base condom.

"Fuck is right, my dear! Where did you get this, darling?"

Without answering, Asher reached into my pocket taking out a new one. He has been very grabby lately. John even had to cut his hair because of it. I really shouldn't keep my condoms on my person now that fairy mating season is over. After a while Asher returned the condom he was playing with to my pocket for safe keeping.

"Thank you, my darling, that's very thoughtful of you." I examined the returned flower base and found that it was completely ripped. Well it was a good thing fairy mating season had officially ended 39 hours ago and I couldn't get pregnant until next year unless I bottomed.

I chomped on another handful of cashews. Why were they so bloody good this season? I picked up Asher and walked over to see if the trio was making any progress on the fairy mobile. Lily was plopped next to them working on a painting using her grounded berry paint set. I set up a canvas to Asher to occupy himself finger painting while I saw how the car was coming along. Naturally Delilah followed us because she couldn't help herself. Lately she was being so much more protective of me than usual.

"This is the machine of a dream!" Roger marveled. "It's such a clean machine."

"Yes but does it work?" I wondered eyeing the newly added panel in the dashboard that Deaky was fiddling with.

"Look at the pistons a pumpin', and the hubcaps all gleam!" Roger proclaimed.

"Oi! Roger, what exactly are you planning on doing with this car. It's a little weird, no?" Deaky muttered as he worked.

Brian, meanwhile, was throwing up into a stone bucket. Poor thing. His thick curls were all pinned back by some miracle.

"Whoever pulled that off has my deepest respect." I applauded. "Those curls are so unruly. How did you ever manage to pin them all back into place perfectly like that?"

"R-Roger." Brian heaved.

"Huh? What did I do?" He turned in response to his name being uttered by his lover.

"Nothing darling," I told him, "you just helped Brian with his hair and I can't believe it."

"That's nothing. Dad used his magic to grow my hair when my stupid brother Noah cut it all off." Lily explained.

I gasped. "Roger why didn't you tell me your gift of beauty could work wonders like that?"

Roger didn't react his eyes were glued to the car. "I just wanna hold your wheel and put my hand on your grease gun." He sighed wistfully. There was no point in trying to get his attention away from that tantalizing car. Why bother?

Onto my next handful of delicious crispy cashews! Something didn't sit right with me when I swallowed them. My tummy was still rumbling for more but I also felt sick all of a sudden. I made a quick decision, moving so rapidly I practically leapt over to the bucket to make it there in time. "S-Sorry." As best I could I apologized to Brian for forcing him to share as we both vomited.

"I don't understand. It's nut season. The nuts shouldn't make you sick, Fred." Deaky said with concern.

"Why is everyone getting pregnant?" Lily blurted.

"Oh no!" I exhaled finishing the last of it. "I'm not pregnant, darling. I can't be. We used condoms all throughout fairy mating season."

"What's a condom? Is that where babies come from?" Lily asked.

"No," I decided to be honest, "quite the opposite, my dear. They prevent babies from coming. That's why I can't be pregnant."

"Unless you used a broken flower base." Brian announced, claiming another split condom from Asher's hands. I felt my pocket and realized it was empty and Asher had taken it again somehow.

"Oh no! No! That's not a toy, Asher!" Deaky cried.

Lily giggled, but this was anything but funny. A rush of emotions swelled over me and I knew that would happen because I was already such a mess to my moods. It made sense. I had to loosen my belt. I was craving nuts (well to be fair that was always the case) and now I was throwing up. To top it all off, Delilah kept trying to cuddle me more than normal because she could likely sense it too.

"Remember when all three of you gleefully watched as I suffered?" Deaky remarked with a sly grin. "Karma is certainly a bitch."

"Darling!" I cried in disbelief. I'd seen Deaky be sassy plenty of times but this was unexpected. "I thought you liked being pregnant. You were absolutely glowing the entire time!"

"Oh no don't get me wrong I loved carrying our child and being doted on by you and I'd do it again in a heartbeat of course because Asher is my baby, my pride and joy." Deaky laughed as the babe in his arms reached up in s failed attempt to grab his now short hair. "But there's something cathartic about having you know what I had to go through to get this little blessing of ours."

"I can't believe it. 3/4ths of our team is pregnant." Brian stated the obvious although I was having trouble coming to terms with it going beyond 2/4ths.

"Maybe we should beg Miami to cancel the mission. It's one thing to send one pregnant fairy to Nevermore, but three is insane." Deaky said. I was that third one. I tried to wrap my head around it. There was a sapling growing inside me...

"Wait! What happened?" Roger blurted. "I'm sorry I was distracted by the glorious car. What's going on? Who's canceling the mission?"

"We're canceling the mission." Brian decided. "It's just too dangerous with three of us being pregnant." That third pregnancy was mine. Right now there was a baby, a combination of me and Deaky, resting in my tummy...

"Three? Deaky, you're pregnant again? When did that happen?" Roger questioned as he clearly wasn't listening.

This was it, time for me to admit it out loud. "No, darling, it's not John. It's me. I think I'm pregnant."

"You're joking!" Roger cried. "That can't be right. I mean...we can't all be pregnant at the same time, right?"

"It's more common than you think around fairy mating season." Brian remarked.

"Pregnancies are almost always at an all time high right after the season ends so around this time." Deaky explained. Now I was a part of that statistic. I was going to give birth. I was going to get fat. I was already starting to get gain weight. Oh well the bigger the better, I always say. And who says maternity clothes can't be stylish?

"I hate fairy mating season." Lily huffed.

"Why would you say that, Nugget?" Roger asked.

"'Cause you're all gonna have fairy babies and forget all about me."

My mind continue to wander as Brian and Roger comforted her. I was going to have a fairy baby. Me! It would come out of me,not Deaky this time. We were going to have another baby. Should we get a new crib? Will Asher and the new baby share a crib? No, that's ridiculous. I was going to spoil both my children. So we'd make a new nursery room for the baby in addition to Asher's.

"You _are_ our fairy baby. Don't be daft, Lily. We'll always love you and you'll always be ours." Brian said. "No matter what, my little shooting star."

"These babies are additions to a family you're very much a part of, and you're going to stay a part of it always, baby." Roger ruffled her hair and I was reminded of his gift of beauty when it came to styling hair. Don't think I forgot about that.

"You're just as important to us as the new babies. We're also going to need your help to take care of them. Both me and Brian will have to recover, and caring for two babies is a lot of work." Roger said. "Think you're up for the challenge?"

Lily smiled. "Of course I am!Do you really want me to help?"

"Darling, you're already such a great help with Asher. You'll be the best sweet sister ever, Lily."

"Lily!" Asher cooed.

I squealed and John applauded. Yes, we would definitely count this as his first word. None of that ra-ra shit and certainly not fuck. "I am so so proud of you, darling! You said your first word!" I cheered for Asher.

"And it was me! I was his first word!" Lily proclaimed.

"That makes you extra special!" Roger told her and gave her a hug.

I put my hands on my belly which was only going to grow larger by the day. Soon we'd be having a second baby just like precious Asher and our dear Lily. I wanted another kid, but I didn't want to be the pregnant one. However Lily proved that sometimes that most unanticipated events could be a tremendous blessing in disguise.

***

"We just finished off fairy mating season, of course you're pregnant." Miami stated flatly. "Most of the population is around this time. Everyone knows fairies are like rabbits. It's how we sustain our population. I don't see how this is a problem. After that close encounter we had earlier with that nosey human, we need that move toward peace now more than ever."

It looked like we were all set up to go on this mission and rock the humans one way or another. I wasn't sure why were expecting otherwise. Miami chose us for a reason.

"Think about the animals!" Paul exclaimed.

"Believe me we are." Brian said. "But we are also thinking of what's best for our families."

"Well if this possible pandemic mutates to something that can harm fairies then those most at risk will be young sapling, the elderly and the pregnant." Paul pointed out.

"He's right." I accepted. "It's so risky but we've gotta chance it, my darlings."

"Nevermore here we come!" Roger declared.


	4. Convinced Our Voices Can't Be Heard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys set out on their adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Murder hornets are now a thing. Thanks 2020! To take your mind off the murder hornets, here's a story about fairies who could easily get murdered by said murder hornets ...
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:
> 
> This chapter is based on several disturbing videos I watched recently about the practices that go on in Asian wet markets where they slaughter exotic animals live. There's conspiracy theories claiming otherwise, but this is believed to be the source of COVID19. So if you're squeamish (and I don't blame you), there's certain parts in this chapter that you might want to beware. I tried to make it more humorous, but it's still unsettling nonetheless. Also I'm sorry if I'm being culturally insensitive. Snake soup is a popular Cantonese dish that's common in Hong Kong, so I guess to some people it's delectable. For me though, I can't even handle pepperoni and/or anchovies on my pizza without gagging and I LOVE pizza so that's saying something. To each his own I guess.

_Roger's POV_

"You're gonna be good for Auntie Clare and Gramma Winnie?" I pressed. 

"Sksksksks." Lily replied. 

"Lily, we use our words. We don't just make sounds." Brian corrected. 

"Okay Boomer." She responded. 

I wasn't sure why she was acting out like this. We had assured her that the new were in no means a replacement and we'd always love her. We explained to her that she couldn't come with us on this journey because we needed her to be safe in Rhye. What else could we do?

"Lily, you have to be on your best behavior while we're gone, okay?" I tried one more time. 

"I'll try, Dad." Lily said unconvincingly. I suppose that was the best we could get. I gave her a hug. "We'll be back in a few days hopefully. Love you, Nugget. Please be good."

"Love you too, Daddy." Lily cooed. Ahh, there was that sweet girl I knew. She was hiding deep in there. 

"Can I get a goodbye hug, too?" Brian asked. 

"Of course you can, Papa." Lily leapt into his arms. "Don't tell Dad, but you give better hugs." She whispered. 

I wouldn't dispute it because I knew it was true. Brian gave the world's greatest hugs. I let the two of them hug it out and say their farewells and went to check up on Freddie and Deaky. It must not be easy fro them to say goodbye to Asher either. I knew the Bulsaras would take great care of him though. Unlike Lily he wouldn't cause too much trouble. No, what was I saying? Lily wasn't a troublemaker. She was a little angel. 

I found Freddie munching on chili pepper seeds and singing a song as Deaky hitched up the cable cart to the fairy mobile. "You're doing great, my darling. Shall I keep singing to keep up your momentum?" 

John wiped the sweat from his brow. "You're lucky you're medically suspended from manual labour and heavy lifting otherwise I'd have a lot of harsh words for you, Mercury!" 

"God, I love this baby already." Freddie laughed, patting his belly. "Speaking of babies, how do you think Asher's doing? Do you think he misses us? I miss him." 

"I miss him too, Freddie. I miss him more than anything. But it's only been 39 minutes." Deaky sighed. With a flick of the wrist, he was able to secure the cable cart earning a round of applause from Freddie.

"Are we ready to go now?" I asked. 

"I believe we're about ready Freddie." The singer proclaimed. "We just need to store our instruments, food, and other supplies in the cable cart." He opened the cart revealing Delilah already resting inside. 

"Good girl, Delilah. We're going to need you, darling. You'll help us sneak in and out of the marketplace. But you need to be careful because these humans are crazy and could try to capture and eat you. Don't worry though we're going there to put an end to that practice." Freddie told her. 

Brian thought this plan was as foolish as it could be, but for me I was eager to set out on our adventure. The thought of putting on a show for a group of giant humans as they bumbled through a murderous marketplace was thrilling. Hopefully we would manage to get their attention without getting smashed or killed. If we could get just one human to listen to us and change their ways, we could make the world a better place. The possibility of some little fairies making a difference was exciting. 

***

After punching in the coordinates that Paul McCartney gave us, it took nothing more than the push of a button to transport us to Nevermore. This fairy mobile was awesome! 

"I have to throw up!" Brian announced seconds after we arrived, rolling down the window to puke. I soon realized what brought about his sickness besides the pregnancy. Our car was position the middle of a maze of cages containing whimpering animals of several species. Pigs, bats, snakes, porcupines and chickens. Oh no! Poor creatures needed our help. 

"Quickly, darlings, we have to free them!" Freddie announced. We all scrambled out of the car to further examine where we had ended up. Each cage was locked with a combination padlock. Human stomped by in the distance but none seemed to notice us as they bustled their way through the marketplace. 

"It's no use." Deaky sighed as he fumbled with the padlock that was the size of his face. "There's millions of possible combinations. It'll take us days to guess the correct one." 

"Fuck that." I scoffed and rattled the cage bars trying to break it open without the lock. 

"Roger, look out!" Brian cried, but it was too late, the giant shadow was already overhead. I tried to zoom out of the way, but the massive boot collided with my body and I was knocked like a fairy frisbee and went flying through the air, landing painfully on my ass. "Oof! I'm so sorry, baby." I told my stomach. Fairies were built strong and I was tough. Still I had to take better care of myself because it wasn't just me here in this body anymore. 

I watched the human who had so rudely knocked his boot into me carry away the cage full of snakes over to a high tabletop. I nearly screamed but ended up vomiting instead as he brandished an enormous machete and carved the snake up into fairy sized pieces and put the bloodied mess into a bowl. He wasn't even wearing any gloves. Some of the pieces of snake bits were still wiggling about in the water. "Who ordered snake soup?" He hollered. I forgot how loud humans were. It was like drilling a nail into my eardrums. And this is coming from the loudest fairy in all of Rhye. Humans really needed to calm down and speak softer. 

"Oh my poor Roggie! Are you hurt?" Brian embraced me. I saw that he was stifling back tears. We were both emotional because of the hormones, but this must be even scarier for Brian who loved animals deep into his core beyond the ordinary fairy affiliation with nature. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Freddie opening the cable cart while Deaky gave up on trying to guess the correct combination on the padlocks. He joined his husband. Then the two gasped. 

"Bri! Rog!" Deaky called. "We have a problem!" 

"What now?" Brian grunted as we returned to the cable cart, dodging the thundering stampede of humans obliviously wandering throughout the market. 

Delilah was resting in the cable cart, guarding our instruments. Only she wasn't alone. Lily was hiding behind my drum kit. She offered a sheepish smile and wave. "Surprise!" 

"Lily, what are you doing here?" I cried. 

"I wanted to help. I know about humans. I used to be one." She insisted. 

"No, sweetheart. We have to take you home." Brian said. "This is much to dangerous for you." 

"I bet if I was your real fairy baby you'd let me stay!" Lily protested. 

"No, we wouldn't. Baby Asher isn't here. Staying in Rhye is in your best interest. We want you safe." I told her.

"This terrifying market is no place for a sapling, my dear. Listen to your fathers. They know what they're saying." Freddie said. "Let's get you back home where you belong, darling." 

"Everyone back in the car." I instructed. "Quick trip back to Rhye." I tried to pick Lily up, but she squirmed against me and broke free from my grasp. 

"Lily no!" I shouted as she flew away. 

"Lily get back here!" Brian cried. 

Why wasn't she listening to us? I knew what I had to do. Still sore from the boot bludgeon and fall, I took the skies and chased after her. "Lily please!" I called after her. 

"Oooh!" Lily seemed to have her sites set on a destination down below, a human girl standing in front of another set of cages. I didn't know why this human would interest her, but it looked like Lily was heading right her way. 

"Lily, careful! She could swat at you!" I shrieked. 

The human girl, dressing in an oversized tshirt with what looked like a sea shell necklace was preoccupied holding up a sign that read: Save the Turtles! Her dirty blonde hair was tied back in a colorful band almost resembling some of the flowery products we had back at home. The hand not holding up the sign was clutching a metallic cylindrical object. 

"Wow! A real VSCO girl!" Lily squealed, landing at last by the girl's feet. Good! I could catch her and get her back to safety. My heart never stopped racing and usually this constant danger gave me a rush of adrenaline which I craved, but right now it was anything but enjoyable. Right when I thought I was about to rescue Lily, the human accidentally dropped her container accessory. "NO!" I screamed pushing Lily out of the way right before the heavy object could roll on top of her and squish her. 

"Lily, you're not safe!" I cried. "You almost got crushed by...by..." I couldn't find the word for the human device, but Lily seemed to know. "...A giant hydro flask!" 

"And I oop." The human girl reached down to pick up her hydro flask. Her giant light brown eyes widened as she caught site of us. "Oh my god! You're the little fairies from that video. You're like totally internet famous. Your video went viral." 

"I knew it! Yes! I'm so excited!" Lily did a happy dance at this news that meant nothing to me. How did the humans know about us?

"No, we don't want to go viral. We want to stop the spread of the virus." I said. "That's why we're here." 

"Wait...are you talking? I can't hear you. Your voices were really hard to hear on the video too. Check it out." The girl took out the same rectangular metallic technology that the human intruder had from the other day. A bright light emerged from his screen and the girl was able to tap it several times to pull up a video of us taken by the very same man. "See? You've been number 1 on Youtube for days now. That is so cool! I always knew fairies were real but nobody believed me. Even now people think this is fake news, but whatever. They're all a bunch of deniers." 

"We're famous! Hooray!" Lily exclaimed. 

"Oh my God! I think I heard you that time. Your voice is so cute and squeaky." The girl put out her hand. Lily looked to me before stepping into the gigantic palm to be lifted up closer for the human's inspection. "You're so cute, little one. Do you wanna help me save the turtles?"

"Ohh! Yes! Can I? Can I please?" Lily grinned. 

I wasn't sure where this was going, but I suppose we needed a human ally if we wanted to make some leeway. So I flew up into her palm as well. "Do you wanna help me too?" She asked. 

"Actually we need your help." I said. 

"You want my help?" The girl gasped. "Skksksksks." 

I face palmed and Lily made the same noise. "We're here to stop people from eating these exotic animals that can get them sick." I explained. 

"No way! I'm here to save the turtles. They're animals too you know. We shouldn't eat them. They're our friends." I was surprised by how much compassion this human had for her four legged shelled companions. Then she delved into a series of questions rattling them a mile a minute. "Do fairies have scrunchies? Oh, do they wear leggings? What about puka shells? Is there a fairy instagram?..." 

"Roger, Lily!" I looked down and saw Brian, Freddie, and John running after us. They were naturally terrified of the giant girl and kept a safe distance but I gave them a thumbs up. I didn't think she would hurt us. 

"And I oop! There's more of you!" She gasped. "So cute!" 

"It's okay." I assured the others. "She's a friendly one." 

"My name is Victoria, but not like that bitch Victoria F from the Bachelor. I'm more like Victoria P. I think Peter should have ended up with Hannah A, but my favorite Bachelorette is Hannah B." 

"I did not follow any of that." I said. 

"She said her name's Victoria." Lily translated. 

"Hello Victoria, darling." Freddie flew up to join us in her palm. "My name is Freddie. We're trying to make peace with the humans to save the animals and stop a deadly virus from spreading."

"If it involves saving the turtles, then I'm in!" She declared. "How can I help?"

"Wow! That was easy!" Deaky remarked. 

"Sorry, little poofy fairies, you'll have to fly closer like your friends here if you wanna talk to me. I can't hear you from all the way down there." Victoria waved down to Brian and Deaky. I was surprised they listened to her and boldly joined us in her hand. 

"I like your hydro flask stickers." Lily said pointing to the figurines stuck to her hydro flask. They were rather random resembling a heart, an avocado, a sloth and a pair of sunglasses. 

"Ahh, thank you." Victoria nudged Lily wither her fingertip making her giggle. 

"So, Victoria, how did you end up here trying to save the turtles?" Brian asked. "From what we've seen most humans don't care about their fellow creatures." 

"Funny story. So my friend Ashley has more metal straws than me, so I had to prove to her that I care more about the turtles. We were supposed to all go to Mexico for spring break and rescue turtles while taking beach selfies with lots of different filters. But my parents were all like 'No way will we ever let you leave Pasadena without any adult supervision!' So I stole my dad's credit card and bought a plane ticket. Somehow I ended up in Wuhan China instead of Cancun Mexico, but whatever. There's still turtles to save. #SuckitAshley." Victoria summed up. 

"Yeah suck it Ashley! That dumb skank!" Lily giggled. 

"Lily! That's a horrible thing to say! Who taught you that word?" Brian gasped. 

Lily looked to me, and I shifted the blame by looking to Freddie. Raising a polite little girl was hard when you couldn't watch your own mouth. 

"So, your parents don't know that you're here?" Deaky asked our new human friend. 

"Well they do now. My Mom is pissed, but my Dad's been super chill. He's even buying me a plane ticket back to California. He says I can use it anytime...I think that's what ASAP stands for anyway. In the meantime I'm staying with Mr. Lickton, the manager of the Chinese branch of my Dad's international tech company. Still not sure what the company does but I love technology. Technology is responsible for Instagram filters and TikTok, so it can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned." Victoria explained. 

"Well at least you're not sleeping on the sidewalk." Freddie said. "Is Mr. Lickton one of the nicer humans?" 

"Beats me. I never see him. He's always in the basement working on top secret stuff." She replied casually as if this ominous behavior was common among humans. "So tell me how we can save the turtles!" 


	5. Was it all Worth It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team discovers the chaos of going viral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a mess but whatever I felt like updating this story because it's been a while. I have a bad case of the hiccups IDK if that's an excuse. Also I make fun of President Trump in this, so if you're a MAGA person who can't take a joke, this might not be the fanfic for you. Anyway enjoy whatever the hell this is!

_John's POV_

We were staying with Victoria and Mr. Lickton and they were being pretty gracious for humans. We were allowed to roam freely around the flat and knick crumbs from all the food in fridge. Really the only rule was: Stay out of the basement! Otherwise, we could do whatever wanted.

"So if we go viral, we can reach the humans and spread our message?" Brian asked.

"Oh yeah. You were already trending on Youtube. I bet a new video will get more clicks than a selfie of Kim Kardashian's butt." Victoria took out her phone.

"Are you going to record us again? I don't exactly look my best." Freddie attempted to fluff up his hair with his hands. Honestly, he looked absolutely stunning in my eyes and I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

"We just want to get our message across." Brian said. "Save the animals and stop the pandemic. Simple enough."

"Not just the animals, but the turtles. We wanna save the turtles!" Lily urged. Why did she like turtles so much all of a sudden? Was that a phase kids went through? Would Asher one day become turtle obsessed. Like all fairies, I loved every animals even though there were many bigger animals who could eat us. Snapping turtles could be cute from a human perspective, but to a fairy, they could pose a threat. Nevertheless, it would be nice to save them and the other animals.

"Alright I'm gonna start filming." Victoria warned. Her phone suddenly changed into a reflective mirror. "Hey bitches! It's your girl Victoria here streaming to you LIVE from China. Yeah that's right, Ashely, I'm in communist country and you're not! Suck it you dumb bitch!" She gave the middle finger to her phone camera. "And now I'm friends with real live fairies and they have a very important message about saving the turtles and you better listen to them because they're fairies and they know what they're talking about."

She tilted the screen and suddenly we were all displayed. Wait did the filming start? I looked to Brian, Roger, and Freddie who appeared just as confused. Meanwhile Lily waved. "Hi everyone! I'm viral!" She squealed. "We're gonna save the turtles! Everyone be nice to each other. That's the fairy way. Don't be mean. Nobody likes a big meanie."

"My daughter is right. We need to treat each other with kindness and that mean ALL creatures. Stop hurting animals. We share this Earth. And I believe we can live together in peace and harmony where we can all benefit." Brian said.

"But seriously stop being idiots and eating bats because it will cause a pandemic and you'll all die and it will spread to fairy colonies and then _we'll_ all die and then we'll all be dead." Roger summed up.

"So in conclusion, lots of death and despair unless you change your ways and refrain from eating exotic animals." Freddie stated bleakly. "And we're not lying, darlings. This is all real and you have the chance to fix it if you listen to us. Think of the children. Think of Deaky."

"Wait what?" I was aware that I was the only one of us who hadn't spoken yet, but I wasn't sure what to say. Talking to humans was not my forte.

"You heard 'em." Victoria put herself back in the focus of the screen, blocking us with her big head. "Save the turtles. Be nice to everyone except Ashely. And don't eat exotic animals. See you later, bitches!" She pressed the button and the phone no longer looked like a mirror. 

"Darling, why do you hate Ashely so much? It is normal for humans to harbor that kind of contentment?" Freddie wondered.

"I don't hate her. She's my best friend and I love her. She's just a bitch who gets straight A's and doesn't let me cheat off of her. Like when she invites me over to her house to study, she actually wants to study. Who the hell even does that? Gross! What a bitch! I bet she's not even having fun on spring break and is cleaning up the beach like a loser instead of swimming and tanning."

"Ashley sounds like a responsible girl. You shouldn't call her a bitch and be so cruel. You're lucky to have a smart friend like that. She can help you in school." I lectured.

"Cleaning up the beaches is a great way to save the turtles." Brian said.

"Sksksksksks." Victoria replied like that sound meant something. Humans were weird. It was difficult to have a coherent conversation with them. Maybe that was just the teenage humans. Oh God! What if Asher and the new baby got like this in their teenage years? How would I handle that? I wanted to be able to understand my kids.

"Ohmygod!" Roger screamed. "Baby kicked! Baby kicked! Baby kicked!" He put his hands to his stomach, grinning. I knew that exciting feeling, the first time the little sapling made itself known. "Rog, you're absolutely glowing!" Brian exclaimed.

"Does it hurt, dear?" Freddie asked apprehensively, looking down at his tummy which was still flat for the time being.

"It hurt a little bit, but I'm alright." Roger proclaimed. "I'm just REALLY EXCITED!"

"It's an exciting time. I can't wait to meet all of our new little ones." I said. I was lost in thought about the moment I got to hold Asher for the first time as Brian and Roger hugged.

"Victoria, are we viral yet?" Lily interrupted our mini celebration of the new life.

"Umm...we have 39 views so far. Ohhh we have a comment!...Victoria, please come home now! We are calling the FBI and the Chinese Embassy...Ugh. My mom is so stupid."

"She's worried about you, darling." Freddie said. "Nobody wants to be far away from their child....like how we're far away from our dear Asher." He teared up. "Sorry, hormones."

"Awww." I consoled my husband. "I miss him too. I miss him so much. I just wanna hold him and bounce him on my lap and give him kisses."

"You're making it worse!" Freddie bawled. "And you're making me cry while being so damn cute yourself. It's not fair. Why do you have to be my sweet little Deaky and remind me of our precious baby?"

"It's alright, Freddie, I've got you." I hugged him tighter as he cried uncontrollably, wetting my shoulder with his tears. "What if you don't love me anymore when I get fat, and the baby kicks hurt and...and...Oh goodness, I'm hysterical, aren't I? I-I knew this would happen if I ever got pregnant."

"I'll always love you, Freddie." I assured him. "And you'll be beautiful no matter what. So don't worry about your hormones, honey. You're fine. It's okay to cry and get overwhelmed. I had my fair share of breakdowns, remember? I would shed tears just at the sound of one of your cats purring."

"Oh yes, I remember that." He dried his tears and gave me a small smile. "I didn't realize how brave you were to have to go through nine months of this shit. I love you even more now, Deaky, darling."

"I wasn't brave then, but I'm definitely brave now having to deal with _three_ pregnant and hormonal fairies." I laughed to myself. "Don't worry, Freddie. Everything will work out. I promise it will all be worth it."

"Oh my God!" Victoria cried. "Ashely just texted me."

"That bitch!" Lily exclaimed.

"Language!" Brian and Roger shouted at the same time. Asher was already saying fuck, so I was worried. Roger was my best friend and Freddie was the love of my life, but they needed to curb their language around saplings or else this would be the result.

"Hey Victoria," She read the message aloud, "I say your video with the fairies. You are so lucky you get to hang out with those cuties! And the cat in the background GIVES ME LIFE. Uwu I'm here cleaning up the beach in Mexico trying to save the turtles, but I wish you were here so we could laugh together and tell each other to suck it. Haha! You're crazy, girlfriend! I'm still upset about my 34 on the ACT. You were right that test is for losers. I got my SAT score back and it's a 1590, so that test is for winners. Harvard here I come. Good luck saving the turtles and stopping the Boomers from destroying the Earth. Love you, bitch! Suck it! xxxoxx."

"Haha, that bitch is the best." Victoria snickered. She spoke aloud as she dictated the text. "You dumbass. You can't even get a perfect score on the SAT. I wish you were here so I can tell you to SUCK IT!😍😍😍"

"Wow! You and your friends are so cool!" Lily exclaimed.

"I don't understand humans." I stated.

"I don't either but I love sucking it." Freddie grinned mischievously.

"Me too! Flower fairy lollipops are the best!" Lily said innocently.

"That's right, Nugget! We're absolutely talking about fairy flower lollipops and nothing else." Roger said. Brian rolled his eyes. 

"Oh my God! We're on the news!" Victoria squealed. She showed us another screen, this one much larger than her phone.

A human man with white hair and a beard appeared in the pixilated form. "This is the Situation Room with Wolfe Blitzer here on CNN and we have late breaking news about a viral video. A teenage girl is allegedly being held hostage in China by a group of fairies. Victoria Victors is an American citizen who ran away from home during spring break. A shocking new video shows her in China with the same little fairies from the video that became an internet sensation earlier in the week. The fairies and their pet cat are now wanted by the FBI and international authorities. They are small in stature but we are unsure if they are dangerous to humans, so if you see a fairy, we advise that you...And this just in! One of the fairies in the video is not a fairy at all but in fact a human girl shrunken down to fairy size. We are standing by for her mother and brother to join us on our program. More on this story after the break."

"Holy shit! The President just tweeted about us!" Victoria gasped.

"The human president is a bird?" I asked because that's what came to mind with the word tweet.

"No, he's an oompa loompa." Victoria replied, like that nonsense word made any sense. "He tweeted: FAKE NEWZ: Fairies are a Chinese hoax just like climate change."

"Okay Boomer." Lily remarked. 

"Yes there it makes sense to say that." Brian applauded her. 

"And there's a second tweet: Ashley can SUCK IT! 🖕🏻" Victoria gasped. "How dare he say that? What a sexist orange turd!" 

"Ummm didn't you yourself repeatedly tell Ashley to suck it?" I asked. 

"Yeah but I'm not the President of the United States." She replied. 

Why were humans so confusing? One thing was for sure, if I could handle their crazy ways, raising another kid wouldn't be so difficult. Right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is total crap. I know. I'm sorry. At the very least I hope we got a laugh or two.


End file.
